I don’t remember much it was almost 48 hours later. 48 hours after the time we started getting contractions and not being able take the pain anymore….. walking bouncing, breathing nothing was working. I thought I did everything I was suppose to do. Yet nothing prepared me for the the though of almost losing my son. I became a c-section Mom right there… drowsy and exhausted my mom and nurses made sure I stayed up and helped him latch.
I was clueless
Little did I know that this would be the beginning of a long breastfeeding journey. Filled with mastitis, clogged ducts, lots of crying, frustration, pumping in bathrooms, breastfeeding support meetings, Facebook breastfeeding mama groups, bloggers and anyone and anywhere I felt I could find an answer, but also a community to hold me up and keep me going. It’s been a lot of sharing and hiding and all together fully exhausting.
Really pushing through…
But even though society likes to remind me that’s its “ok” to wean, I just pushed through. Through managers who didn’t remember, get it, or care. Through pumping in bathrooms or “luxurious” mother’s room. Between meetings, work and training sessions. Despite more often than not funny conversations about steaming my supplies at work.
While my baby refused (I mean REFUSED!) to take a bottle while I was at work, and despite feeling that I needed to leave early to nourish and comfort them. Let’s not even go into detail about filling up medicine syringes for more than a week, because that was the ONLY way baby would take her milk. Despite a lot…. I mean a LOT of crying. We… yes WE are still here. Because it wasn’t just about me and baby being on the same page…it meant Dad and my caregivers understood too.
And having to breastfeed in public mejor ni de hablar!
How did I get this far?
Well baby was driving force, but somewhere along the way I felt like I
was part of a greater village of Moms. And the more people wanted to challenge me or stress me to wean, the more I wasn’t going to give up. I’m stubborn like that. But mostly it was the beautiful soul that said if you can do it for 2 weeks, you can do it. Like everything, small goals first…
Today I nursed my almost 3 year old for 14 months and I am still nursing my 13 month old today. I’ve stopped pumping during the day, which for me was really sad moment and realization that baby is getting bigger. It’s also a reminder that our journey together is coming to an end, but the next chapter awaits us.
Besitos mis amigas!